Nobody Puts Boobies in a Corner

YOU HAVE DOOMED YOUR CHILD TO A LIFETIME OF CRIME AND DEPRAVED ACTS! THEY WILL NOW ONLY DESIRE TO DROWN CATS AND SMOKE CRACK! This is what my poor wife felt when she couldn’t breastfeed our first child. Let me back up and “Tarantino” this a bit. When our first child was born, we were…

Reno Dad Finds Strength After Son’s Death

Reno dad, Owen Brolsma, is used to performing under pressure. In his youth, Brolsma excelled as a baseball player at Carson High School. He was good enough to earn college scholarships to Nevada and Texas Tech, and was drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates. He experienced the pressure of hitting and pitching with the game on the…

Dear Perfect Stranger: Please Don’t Touch My Kid

You’ve seen them, the perfectly chiseled abs with great muscle tone, the larger-than-life Greek marble statues, most famously, Michelangelo’s David statue. Among the many iconic features, there’s one thing all these Renaissance statues have in common — no, not the starkly naked part, but the perfectly curly hair. For better or for worse, my two-and-half-year-old…

Sex and the Single Dad *

“Dating apps in my 40s? Yeah, things are definitely going according to plan! 😜” I don’t think anyone ever really expects to be divorced in their 40s, it just sort of happens. And still happens fairly frequently, if you’re to believe the statistics on marriage longevity in the US these days. The whole dating landscape has…

Rites of Passage at the Barbershop

Last week, I took my 14-year-old son to the barbershop. As an adult, my visits with Troy at Derby Supply are for me a simple pleasure to which I think most men can relate.  But for a 14-year-old boy, in the twilight zone of adolescence, it can be a strange and maybe even intimidating experience….

Going on a Mission

I was so excited when I found out I was going to be a dad. Fast forward to the day my wife, Katie, and I got to bring our son, Wells, home and it seemed like the car seat was going to swallow him. He was so tiny. Driving home reminded me of the end…

Mile-High Blowout

My wife and I were aboard Alaska Airlines on our way back to Reno — part of our first roundtrip airplane ride with our 2-month-old daughter — and the flight attendant was handing out snacks. All I wanted was some Cheez-Its. Our daughter was fussy during the 1 hour and 45 minute flight and something was up. My…

The Painful Truth About Fatherhood

What the hell?! Why didn’t anybody give me the straight talk about this bullshit?! To all of you seasoned parents out there, fuck you! Lemme explain my perturbed and prickly attitude. First off, I love my children, with all of that crazy instinctual love that makes one willing to kill or die for them. Anyone…

The Call You Dread When Your Dad’s a Cop

“Your dad is in the hospital.” Those six words will put anyone’s heart straight into their throat, but especially when you are a 12-year-old child whose father is a police officer. This occurred in my family in 1990, long before the age of constant, instant communication. At the time, that was all we knew: dad…

The Journey of Fatherhood as Told Through 20 Star Wars Quotes

One of my favorite film series of all time is Star Wars. So, to celebrate Star Wars Day this year, I thought I’d share some fatherhood moments as expressed through Star Wars quotes. And no, I didn’t take the easy way out with the “I am your father,” Vader quote (even though I really wanted…

Kitties not Titties – Speech Matters

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusions that is has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw Communicating with a young child is a guessing game at best. “Did you poop? Are you hungry? Is that a new tooth? Are you not feeling well? Is it just gas? I don’t know, where is mommy?” The…

Fear, or Lack Thereof, and a Bike

Fatherhood is great. The excitement of your kids first steps. The frustration of a baby that won’t sleep at night. The envy of innocence. The fear of your kid getting seriously hurt. And with my boys, the fear of my kid getting seriously hurt is a constant concern. For better or worse, they inherited my…