Nobody Puts Boobies in a Corner

YOU HAVE DOOMED YOUR CHILD TO A LIFETIME OF CRIME AND DEPRAVED ACTS! THEY WILL NOW ONLY DESIRE TO DROWN CATS AND SMOKE CRACK! This is what my poor wife felt when she couldn’t breastfeed our first child. Let me back up and “Tarantino” this a bit. When our first child was born, we were…

How to Maintain Your Warrior Physique

How to maintain your warrior physique and fight off the wolves during your children’s infancy. This is a fluff statement. That’s a bullshit headline to inspire some inspirational feeling during the precious little apocalypse that has been brought into your home. Truth is, working out and eating right feels damn near impossible. But, have no…

The Painful Truth About Fatherhood

What the hell?! Why didn’t anybody give me the straight talk about this bullshit?! To all of you seasoned parents out there, fuck you! Lemme explain my perturbed and prickly attitude. First off, I love my children, with all of that crazy instinctual love that makes one willing to kill or die for them. Anyone…